Have you ever thought about what are the questions to ask your unfaithful spouse? It is very important to ask questions to your partner if you feel something is going wrong between both of you. It is not mean begging or go behind them but you are giving a last and good chance to them.
People get married believing in their love for each other. They are convinced their marriage will be successful. There is no doubt that both parts will honor their vows. Those who get married in a church are making a promise to God. But then, after a couple of good years, the relationship is not the same.
Adultery is not one of the most common causes of divorce. However, infidelity could damage a relationship to a point of no return. Some research shows around 22% of men in a marriage have cheated on their spouse at least once. Women are also capable of doing it. 14% of the married women have cheated on their partner.
Discovering that your spouse has been cheating on you is not good for your confidence. The first reaction is anger and then comes doubt. You will start asking yourself what went wrong. What could you have possibly done to cause this? Are you responsible? Is it your fault? Did you push them to cheat? Yes, these are good questions to ask yourself.
Before you torture yourself with any kind of questions, talk to your spouse. Give them a chance to explain the situation. Listen to their perspective. You may not share their feelings but you must understand them. Remember that you love this person and get ready for a difficult conversation. Don’t panic or be afraid of asking some straightforward questions.
Through this post, I’m going to line up the best and essential 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse so you can be at peace. Once you ask these questions your mind and heart will get a clear vision even in the negative or positive end.
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10 Questions To Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse
1. What? Who? When? Where? Why?
These are some basic questions to ask to get into the context. Some details may be hurtful but it is necessary. These 5 ‘W’ questions are very important and once your partner answered to these questions, you will get a rough idea of what actually happened. On the other hand, if your spouse denied to answering all these 5 ‘W’ questions, it is pointless to ask the next set of questions.
2. How involved are they?
Was it a one-time thing or are they in a relationship? Demand honesty. If they are in an initial stage, you have a good chance to get back your relationship stronger. If they have feelings for each other, there is nothing you can do. Whatever, it is your responsibility to check how involved are they.
3. What pushed them to have an affair?
Not all infidelities happen for the same reason. Perhaps your spouse is feeling insecure or they are lost. A disagreement could have caused it. No matter the reason, cheating is never the right answer. Knowing the cause will help the both of you to move forward. The answer to this question will clearly state who the main reason for this negative end is. So, it is one of the main questions to ask your unfaithful spouse.
4. Is there anything about you that they do not like?
This is a tough question to ask. You will not like the answer even if your spouse says there is nothing wrong with you. Knowing that you are not the problem will make the whole situation more complicated. But, when you get to know that you are not the problem, you will be in a safe place with a peaceful mind. Sometimes, when you ask this question, your partner lies to you only because to escape from your questions. Don’t believe those lies and underestimate yourself. Always be confident and positive in what you are doing.
5. How much the other person knows about your relationship?
Your spouse may have shared their insecurities with this person. It is your rights to know what they are saying about you. Keep in mind that he/she could be repeating the same to their friends. In some cases, the other person may not know about your relationship. If the other person knows about your relationship, you should get to know how much they know about the connection between you and your spouse.
6. Was it the first time?
One time is bad enough. If it is the first time affair, you have a chance to get back into the relationship with your spouse. If the affair has been happening for a while, the issues may be more serious. One or a thousand times will not change how you feel about the affair. However, at least this would be the right time to know whether it is the first time or happening for a while.
7. How would they react if you cheated on them?
This would be a good question which makes your spouse think harder. Are they willing to forgive you? Would they divorce you? This will speak about their character. One of the most common answers from your spouse would be “Yes, I will break up with you”. If you face this answer, you can better to quit your relationship. But, don’t cheat them back as revenge. Cheating back is not a smart or healthy solution. If they answer “I don’t care about that”, the relationship between you and your partner is not the healthy one. Yes, you have a chance to get back into the relationship but make it stronger.
8. Are they feeling guilty?
If your spouse is not feeling guilty, then your marriage is over. Do not hold it against them. People who cheat on their spouses do it because something is missing in their relationships. If they are feeling guilty you can give a chance to them. But, thereafter make sure to build your relationship stronger and stronger. No one is perfect in this world. Sometimes, people make mistakes without knowing about it. When your spouse does something wrong, don’t forget all the things he/she did right. So you should give them a chance if they really feeling guilty.
9. Do they have feelings for the other person?
As we said, a one-time situation is different to a relationship. If they have developed feelings for someone else, the best thing to do is to call it quits. A divorce will be healthy for you. If they don’t have feelings for the other person, you have a chance to get into the relationship again. But, keep in mind, it is little hard to understand the other person’s feelings. It is easy to say that we don’t have any feelings for the other person but hard to prove it.
10. What comes next?
Make no mistake, yet you are the victim in the situation. If it was a one-time occasion and they are feeling guilty about it, forgiveness is possible. Yes, you can give a chance to them and make the relationship even stronger. On the other hand, if your spouse is having feelings for someone else, get a divorce. That will be the best option I can suggest. Find it in your heart the option that will make you feel safer. If you understand that your spouse is having a good/strong relationship with someone else, don’t go back or compromise. If you go back, the relationship will hurt you more and more in the near future.
Finding out that your spouse was unfaithful is not a good experience. It could mean the end of your marriage. Or it could be a learning opportunity for both of you.
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Your feelings are hurt and you are not thinking straight. Take a moment to analyze the situation and their answers. Your spouse may be feeling neglected or looked over. Communication is the best way to keep any relationship healthy.
Calm down before having an important conversation. Anger will cloud your judgment and you will end up hurting each other more. Do not try to get revenge, it will hurt you as much as them.
If you decide to forgive them, think it twice. Will you be able to let it go? Will you bring it up in your next argument? Forgiving means you are letting it be in the past. The pain will stay with you.
Be honest with yourself, are you capable of truly forgiving them? Do not rush into any decision. Have an open and honest conversation. Remember that you once loved this person and they loved you back.
These are the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. If you have any other questions that a person can ask his/her unfaithful spouse, write that in the comment box below. Don’t forget that your every meaningful comment may save a relationship. Also, you can share this post with your family and friends by clicking one of the social share buttons below.